last night

So last night as a few friends (as well as my lover) and I shared conversation and cigarettes, I was informed by my husband-to-be that one of my best attributes is my ability to make people uncomfortable really quickly. Thanks, honey. A little taken aback at first, I sprung to thought. And came to one realization about myself. I do that. It's true. And as much as I hate to admit any one's mental dominance over me, he's totally right. My friend said it with a thick coating of sugar "You're just blunt. You say exactly what you're thinking." Better, but still doesn't sound like a trait anyone on this planet would be trying to develop.
I really shouldn't have been taken aback in that I am one of the most "out-there" (personality wise) persons I know. That being said, I suppose the only reason this new fun fact about my tendencies caught me off guard is that I never really do think before I speak. Like ever. And I hadn't noticed before. I spent a few following minutes trying to decide if I felt like it was vice or virtue. And I couldn't.
I couldn't completely hate the fact, being completely aware that 2 of my closest friends have no filter either. The skinny brunette (we have matching friendship tattoos)is about as crass and dry and bitter as it comes. She's tiny, but get her worked up and she packs a punch!!!!! And the buxom blonde, really, has about as much a radar for sensitive feelings as pornography has censorship(Please note, it's just a metaphor. She hates porn.). She as a being is extremely sensitive. Still a spitfire, yet exudes a certain degree of innocence and propriety in the sound of her voice and personal appearance. As is the brunette. She cries at the slightest pull of the heart strings, and still we share the "blurt" attribute. Come to think of it, MOST of my friends demonstrate their own unique brands of impropriety. And that's completely what I LOVE about them. No games. No bullshit. They say what they mean, and also in return, mean what they say. And isn't that the most basic request for all relationships, platonic or otherwise???? To be real?
Exactly. I'd deciphered my own puzzle. I LIKE that I'm that way and I identify and bond with others on that note. So really, I find it to be virtuous. It feels good recognize good within myself. Also, I reinforced my recently discovered feelings on plasticity. I'm put off by it and gravitate to the real, no matter how raw it ends up being. Hmmmm.